


A Token of Death

by Awkward_Cantaloupe



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Pining, but like only temporarily, i didn’t reread this idk what happens, i don’t know I was dead at the time, i wrote this when i was sleep deprived, im obsessed with the Essek dies trope, lol Frumkin’s here too, wtf is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25715965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awkward_Cantaloupe/pseuds/Awkward_Cantaloupe
Summary: The pair battle with feelings. And death.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 8
Kudos: 87





	1. Chapter One —— Caleb

**Author's Note:**

> Just an idea I kinda stole from other creators. I love the idea of Essek being killed by a Vollstrecker because I am an Angst Queen. 
> 
> I just write in really long words because it’s my autopilot feature.

Caleb didn’t deserve forgiveness.

He knew he didn’t. He had told himself a million times that he could never be forgiven. He had taken lives of those who he loved without a second thought, and by then it was too late.

But if Caleb couldn’t be redeemed, Essek was just as damned. 

A small part of himself had already forgiven Essek. The part that couldn’t help but stare at him. The part that longed to hear his voice, see him actually smile. The part that told Caleb to reach out to grab his arm, just to feel the smooth, dark skin underneath his fingers.

Caleb had constantly pushed away those feelings. He, admittedly, knew what they were.

He wasn’t stupid. 

But if you thought that Caleb Widogast, Horrible Person Extraordinarie, was going to act of those unwanted feelings, then you are sorely mistaken.

Essek’s betrayal still rang loud and clear in Caleb’s head, turning over and over like a fish out of water. Caleb hated when his brain ran in circles. What use was there to ask yourself the same things again and again? 

His thoughts drifted to the drow. Caleb and the Mighty Nein had shown him such kindness. How could Essek betray them now, after all they did? 

All the memories of meals together and Dunamancy lessons seemed distant and tinged with a inexplicable sadness.

Caleb ran his hands over his face with a big sigh. He was laying in bed with Frumkin purring on his chest. And he was trying not to think of Essek, the latter of which he had obviously failed.

Why, why did he always think about Essek?

A knock at the door made Caleb pull up into a sitting position.

“Ja, kommt rein. Come in”, he said, his voice raspy and heavy. 

The door creaked open and there was Veth. Her hair was tied back with her braids, a look Caleb had never seen on her before. In her hands she held a small tray with a serving of fresh warm sandwiches. 

“Ducey made some tuna salad sandwiches. I thought that you might not want to come down for dinner, ya know, given all we’ve been through.

We’ve. That’s right. Caleb had been wallowing in self pity that he had not really realized that this was everyone’s problem as well.

Caleb exhaled and took the tray from the halfling’s hands.

“Danke, Veth. But I’ll be joining the rest of the Mighty Nein. It might be good to have some interaction with others.”

Veth’s face lit up and the pair made their way downstairs. There Jester was speaking in excited tones to a very uncomfortable Yasha. Some story that the Traveller supposedly told her about a magical plum and a hippogriff. 

Fjord was helping Caduceus clean up in the kitchen. The rest of the sandwiches were set neatly on the table, which Beau was helping to prepare. 

Caleb couldn’t help but wince at the one empty chair.

The Mighty Nein sat down and a comfortable chatter filled the room. Caleb stayed completely silent, occasionally glancing over at the empty seat. He barely touched his food, his appetite was all gone.

Beau must’ve noticed his looks because suddenly she spoke up:

“Guys! What do we do about Essek?”

The long silence that followed told Caleb that everyone had been trying to avoid that topic. 

“He’s a war criminal! We can’t just let him go, he killed people! Nott-er-Veth! You know what he did firsthand! All of us do. He started the freakin war!” Beau’s anger was reflected in her tone of voice.

Veth looked down. “I agree.” she finally said. “I feel that he should pay for what he did!”

“But, are we going to throw him in prison or what?” Jester popped in. “Because like, we can’t just outright kill him! That horrible! I mean, he killed a lot of people but so did we technically.”

Caleb looked down reflexively to his scarred hand, memories flashing of all the deaths he had caused. Caleb gripped his arms. He should be punished. If Essek was going to be punished, than so should he. 

Caleb needed to be punished.

His grip turned to the soft tablecloth. He could still hear their screams. No matter how much he grasped at his ears the horrid sound echoed in his head. Caleb had done that, with his own free will, just for knowledge. He also had killed to learn new things about the world. The only difference between him and Essek was that Caleb broke down.

Maybe Essek had to.

He hadn’t noticed that he was crying until a soft hand was placed on his shoulder, snapping him to reality. Caduceus handed him a small embroidered handkerchief, the pattern of which seemed oddly similar to that of the male genitalia. Caleb glanced over to Jester and gave her what he hoped was a smile, but it turned out more of a grimace.

“Look, let’s talk about this later. I’m sensing some... some unease right now and we don’t want to do or say anything that we might later regret.” Caduceus’ words of wisdom rang out into the silent room.

Caleb sobbed before choking out an excuse to be alone in his bed. Frumkin laid his head on his shoulder as Caleb poured over his spell book.

The thin fey cat’s frame rattled with a purr as he watched Caleb out of the corner of his yellow eye. He meowed a statement, willing his human companion to understand.

Caleb payed him no second notice.

Frumkin meowed again, this time with more bite. The human looked up, his eyes red and brimming with tears.

“Ja, was?”

The cat pressed his head against Caleb’s, his long red hair lacing over his face. Frumkin seemingly looked into his soul, eyes half closed. This was their was of communication. Caleb could almost hear his familiar’s voice loud in his head. Not a question, a statement.

He answered shortly afterward. “Ja, I admit I’ve been thinking of little else other than the dark elf.” A small flush creeped up his neck unexpectedly.

Frumkin meowed again. A question.

Caleb sighed with a shaky breath, voice still raw from crying. “Natürlich. I miss him everyday. But I was hurt, Kätzchen. One could even say,” he swallowed. “Heartbroken.”

A final meow. Caleb couldn’t tell weather it was a statement or a question. Either way he still dreaded answering.

Frumkin starred with an all to familiar intensity.

Caleb whispered a reply:

“Ja.“


	2. Chapter Two —— Essek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alone in his tower, Essek gets to regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Essek’s turn to deal with his feelings. Oop death but badly written.

Essek was alone.

Usually he payed no attention to the empty walls of his home. But he had grown lonely. Essek hadn’t even noticed his need for something, someone, else to talk to, to share experiences and interests with. He had always had himself, and that was enough.

That was what Essek had convinced himself to believe.

They weren’t part of the plan.

What right did the Mighty Nein have to worm their way into the stone heart of the Shadowhand. What right to show him such love and appreciation that he had never known?

Essek shook all over. They had trusted him. Every. Single. One. And he had betrayed them, before he had even meet them.

He remembered the night. On the ship. He had told them, he had told them everything. They had looked hurt and betrayed but... they had accepted him into their makeshift family.

_Maybe you and I are both dammed_

A memory from that terrible night. He remembered the shock he felt when he saw them, trying to act normal in his Thaine disguise. The manacles clasping around Essek’s wrists, his fate sealed with a click.

Essek remembered pouring out the whole damn story. The betrayal was crystal clear in their eyes. But they listened, and Caleb...

Sweet, sweet, _beautiful_ Caleb.

He pounded his fist on his desk, his self assigned task of reviewing spells long forgotten. Essek hated himself for being so foolish. Everything he did since he had met the Mighty Nein in the Kryn throne room was just another mistake to add to his infinite list. And now a mere human had Essek entirely enraptured.

While growing up, Essek was taught that love was weak. Whether it was told to him on purpose or indirectly, Essek could feel the seething distaste many drow had for the concept of love. His own mother was one of the examples.

But the Mighty Nein were very different.

They loved everyone. There was never a second thought if they had the chance to be kind to someone. Love was such a complicated thing, and yet with the Mighty Nein it was as simple as counting to three.

To love meant you needed to trust, and that was frowned upon in Essek’s corner of aristocracy. He found it so easy to trust the Mighty Nein, and was appalled when they showed him the same amount of trust.

Even Caleb.

The human wizard. The mortal with a short life span, that had somehow, impossibly, touched Essek’s ice cold heart and set it completely ablaze.

_We do not trust you, but that doesn’t mean we don’t hope for you._

_It’s a tricky balance_.

It was. Essek knew that better than anyone. But Caleb’s words had hit him harder than anyone else’s. Maybe it was that fire red hair that fell to obscure his face whenever he was embarrassed. Or perhaps maybe the graceful light accent that Essek could remember its tick anywhere.

Or maybe it was the way Caleb’s usually bright blue eyes just gazed on sadly and dull as Essek recounted his sorry tale.

Essek looked down to try and tear his mind away from his dilemma.

_Fortune’s Favor._

The tears started to fall as Essek moved his hand to touch the place on his forehead where Caleb had pressed his lips. Where Fortune’s Favor’s pearl pressed cold and smooth. He was weak and a horrible, horrible fool.

Essek’s fingers silently fitted over his mouth as sobs started to bubble up from his throat. He shook with unexpected sadness and regret.

Regret. That was such a new thing to Essek. It was the feeling that overcame him whenever he thought about his deal with the Assembly. The wave that impacted him whenever the Mighty Nein was mentioned.

He had said that he hadn’t regretted what happened, and that was a absolute lie.

Essek regretted everything. He regretted his thirst for knowledge, his underlying plot with the Cerberus Assembly, every single last mistake had trip he had made to stumble up to this point in Essek’s seemingly endless life.

What he didn’t regret was Caleb. And the rest of the Mighty Nein.

If Essek had never met them, he had a feeling that he would of held up this stoic façade. Perhaps for the worst. He doubted he could take his secret betrayal to the grave, and Essek had calculated the moment he’d break down.

But they weren’t part of the plan.

He wanted to scream. It was unfair and unjust but Essek fully believed he deserved it. Punishment. Even in the end he had regretted all the danger he had put his friends into. Essek regretted being born.

He needed punishment.

He couldn’t go on living without feeling the consequences for his young and foolish actions.

Essek was breaking. He could feel carefully prepared emotional walls crumbling as he cried, alone, in his dark tower. He felt each terrible thing he did finally hit his heart, which was weakened by this ragtag group. All that his status and ignorance protected him from was finding it’s way under the wire. He had done horrible things.

His sobs filled the empty echoey walls as he dragged his feet to his quarters. Essek had no will to float.

Essek had just laid his head down upon his bed when the voice of a familiar blue tiefling filled his head:

“Hello, Essek! We were just wondering if we could stop by. We totally miss you so much! Especially Caleb, he. So like can we come-“ the message halted abruptly, like always.

He cleared his throat before replying:

“Yes, I suppose I miss you all as well. Please feel free to stop by, though I understand if you are weary.”

Essek silently hopped for a reply, but none came.

He got up and paced briskly across the room. His hair was disheveled and his cloak was sprawled on the floor. He considered leaving them that way, but in the end Essek sighed and bent over to clean up.

As he grabbed his cloak his fingers touched the stone floor. Essek gasped and pulled back as he realized that it was boiling hot. Quickly, he started floating and rushed to investigate what was going on.

Essek threw open his door and started coughing. There was smoke. He ran, not caring about floating anymore. Downstairs he frantically looked for the source of the problem. His eyes squinted and Essek grimaced with pain. He had to get out quickly.

Then he saw them.

A small figure, casting...something... behind him. Essek spun around and was met with a roaring wall of fire. Then he knew what was happening.

The Assembly has sent a Scouger.

_They knew._

But how?

Essek ran with all his might, desperately trying to find a exit in the smoke filled darkness. And he ran right into a wall of fire.

The smell of flesh burning filled the room as Essek screamed in pain. This was how he was going to die. Alone, in a plain tower, all because of his own stupidity and pride.

He thought to the Mighty Nein. Would they miss him when he’s dead? Would Caleb miss him?

_No._

As Essek accepted his fate, he leaned back.

_I’m sorry, Caleb._

And he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left kudos! I’m shook.


	3. Chapter Three —— Caleb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The M9 plan to interrogate Essek. The Cerberus Assembly has other plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Save Essek! Thank you for reading this story. I’m flattered.

“So we’re early, like, is Essek going to be made at us? Because he never minded before. Or maybe he was lying about that too.”

Jester’s voice sliced trough the foggy haze that was around Caleb’s mind, and her words felt like an dull impact to the chest. 

It had been like this everyday, casual snide remarks against Essek slipping into conversations. 

That was the Mighty Nein’s way of punishing someone.

Caleb never joined in. He never had the heart to. He was mildly worried he would misspeak and compliment Essek’s violet eyes or make some passing statement about how fine his hair was. It was these little heart thoughts that sensed him into aunexpected blushing frenzy.

Usually, that is.

Sometimes Caleb just felt emotionless. An overwhelming amount of regret would crash upon him at times, leaving him broken and anxious.

Anxious for the things that they had. Essek and Caleb. Essek and the Mighty Nein. How they had  _loved_ him, and he had tossed it away.

Beau was talking quickly. She ran her fingers through the bits of hair that fell over her face, detangled from the high bun. “Can you send him a message, maybe? Just be like, “hey we are here to sorta kinda blackmail you for information?” or something like that”

“Don’t. Don’t do that. We’re not even blackmailing him? Say that we are coming over.” Fjord said suddenly. “That’s all, okay? You only have 25 words.”

Ah yes. The so-called “blackmail” wasn’t actually blackmail, it was pretty much a plan to try and interrogate Essek with the Zone of Truth with his consent. It was just in case he hadn’t told the whole truth, apparently. 

For his personal taste, it felt like an overstep in private boundaries to Caleb. But he had to admit it wasn’t a bad idea. They might find out enough to stop the war from restarting.

“Okay, okay. Let me cast message,” Jester was saying. She waved her hand in a arcane movement. She cleared he throat before proceeding:

_ “ Hello, Essek!” _

Oh god.

_“We were just wondering if we could stop by. We totally miss you so much! Especially Caleb, he. So like can we come over or something? Because we’re kinda right in front of your house and stuff. Hope you don’t mind!”_

“I believe he only heard until “come”.” said Caduceus with a gentle smile. Jester muttered something about “stupid 25 word limits” while waiting for a reply.

Caleb was too busy trying to keep his ears from bursting into flame with Jester’s comment.

The tiefling’s face lit up. “He says it’s fine!” Her face fell slightly. “It sounds like he’s been crying.”

He felt his heart wrench with those words. Was Essek sorry for what he did? Did he regret it? Caleb secretly prayed that he did. Then maybe, just maybe, he could be redeemed.

The Mighty Nein were standing in front of Essek’s abode, bickering on what to do next. Caleb’s eyes glazed over as he looked at the tall hulking towers. It looked imitating and stoic from the outside, but it was strangely cozy inside.

Just like Essek.

Caleb caught a glimpse of a spark through a window. He flinched slightly, but it seemed to go away. 

He found himself leaning in to get a closer look at the building. The place must have a chimney, since there’s smoke. The lights inside were bright and warm, almost welcoming.

A quiet, dull roar filled Caleb’s ears. It was too silent for the rest of the Nein to hear, but Caleb stumbled back slightly when he heard it. It wasn’t warm light or a chimney at all.

Veth had noticed his movement. “What is it, Caleb?”

He never tore his eyes of if the forbidding tower. 

“The building’s on fire.”

Caleb rushed forward, leaping over the gate with more agility than he had known he could muster. He heard the Mighty Nein close behind him, as Caleb broke open the door. The flames were twirling high, almost mocking his unthinking foolishness. 

The rest were slowly falling behind as they tried to stomp out the fire. Caleb noted that it was already unnaturally big, and Yasha called out what was on the tip of his tongue:

“I think it was an arcane assassin.”

_Ein Vollstrecker._ Caleb had memories of his time at the Academy, and some weren’t very happy ones. But he knew their thought process. Get in, kill, get out, be sneaky. And they were very good at their job. Caleb hoped to the heavens that they weren’t to late.

The Cerberus Assembly must know about the treason. 

Caleb made his way with unexpected momentum up to Essek’s quarters. He was never there personally, of course, but he had memorized the layout of the house. 

He assumed that would be the place Essek would be, most likely.

The fire was stronger on this floor, and Caleb had to stop himself from rushing into it multiple times. The Mighty Nein were right behind him, following his lead. The dampened the blaze and Caleb frantically looked around for him.

There, in the middle of the room, was Essek.

His skin was burned and flayed in horrible ways. His eyelids were closed and one arm was draped over his stomach as he laid on his side.

Caleb choked back a sob and came forward. He cradled the drow’s face, crying even harder when he felt it already cold, the life fleeing from him.

He wouldn’t let the fire take another one of his own. He couldn’t.

“Jester! Caduceus!  _Bitte, macht schnell!_ He has approximately 45 seconds left.” Caleb’s own voice sounded heavy and cracked.

Caduceus came forward on long legs and bent over. “Here, I’ll get this.” The firbolg’s hands brought out a sparkling diamond, and with a little prayer the gem disintegrated. A warm light filled Essek’s body, and slowly he inhaled.

Caleb pulled Essek into his lap, hugging the other close to his chest. _“_ _Er lebt. Danke, danke Wildmutter.”_ And he almost swore he could he a reply.

Essek took another breath, then another. Caleb cried with every single one. He couldn’t get over the fact that if the had been just a minute late, Essek would’ve been gone forever. Caleb couldn’t think of what would’ve become of him, to be left in the world without this stupidly handsome dark elf traitor.

The elf in question fluttered his eyes open, rather like a princess, Caleb remarked. 

He coughed. “Am...am I alive? Or are we all dead?” Essek drew in sharp, ragged breaths. 

“Rest,  _Freund._ “

“You are alive. We might have lost you for a bit but it’s good to have you back.” Caduceus fell into a side position, the spell had clearly drained him.

“I-I died?” When Caduceus nodded Essek’s dark skin blanched as he looked down at his burned skin. He started shaking slightly and Caleb pulled him closer, feeling relieved when he felt his heart thump wildly in Essek’s chest.

Caleb put his lips to Essek’s forehead, and Essek relaxed back to a sleeping state.

Caleb looked down and whispered, his almost lips not moving at all.

“Rest,  _Liebe._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I purposefully based the last part off of that one scene with Vax and Gilmore. That scene broke me emotionally.


	4. Chapter Four —— Essek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Essek wakes up when he thought he never would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me if the Transmuter’s Stone needs to be tinkered with for an hour to change the effect? Or is it just a few seconds?

Essek awoke and quickly closed his eyes once again. Was the light always so painfully bright?

He gulped and slowly opened his pale violet eyes with slight discomfort. It was dark in the room, and though it was cold in Roshana, Essek’s body felt sickeningly warm. He soon realize that it was from the piles of blankets that had been haphazardly throw atop him.

As he pulled each layer off him, Essek sat up and felt a sharp pain through his whole body. He cocked a brow in confusion before realizing.

Essek wasn’t supposed to be awake.

He fell back with a loud creak from the bed. He had  died.  The fire had burned up his arms and torso, swallowing him. How on Exandria was he alive?

His impact on the bed must have woken someone, because a figure that had previously gone unnoticed rose up from the chair. Essek jolted slightly as he realized it was Caleb. 

The other’s hair was down, covering his face with copper strands. His blue eyes distinguishable even in the lowlight. They were clouded with sleep yet had that worrying look to them.

“Essek.” A raspy voice accented with a sligh Zemnian tone.

Essek tried to bring him self to speak, yet something was filling his throat with fuzz. He instead attempted for the second time to sit up, struggling with the pain.

Caleb shot out his arms to steady him, shaking his hair out of his face. He still looked beautiful, Essek remarked, even in the middle of the night. The drow hung his head down slightly as he tried to get the blood back pumping into his brain.

“How long have I’ve been out?” Essek ask once he got his voice under control.

“Two days, though I can tell you the amount of time exactly.” Caleb smiled wryly. 

The drow looked up. “That won’t be needed, although I appreciate that mind of yours.” Essek peered closer and realized how exhausted Caleb looked. He had dark circles underneath his eyes and his brow was constantly furrowed.

Essek felt a spark of worry. “Have you slept since I fell back unconscious?”

Caleb looked away for his reply.

“You should rest. You need the strength.” Essek felt as though he sounded similar to his mother.

“ Nein,  I am unimportant. You, you have died. You need rest more then I have ever needed it.” 

The drow turned Caleb’s head to look into his eyes. “You are important, especially to the Empire and the war. And...to me as well. You and your friends have singlehandedly saved Wildemount. So, my friend, why did you not rest?”

Caleb looked back with something akin to sorrow. “I needed to make sure you awoke again. I had lost you once, almost forever, and I don’t know what I would do if I had lost you again.” He said with a long, painful sigh.

Essek felt a pinch in his chest. “You are too kind to a traitor.”

The human gently pushed Essek down. “Rest,  _Freund_.  I do mean it. I will depart to sleep as well.”

“Wait!” Essek suddenly yelped, feeling incredibly foolish. “Please...I-I don’t feel comfortable alone.”

“Then I will stay.” Caleb hovered back to his bedside. He stood there, before going back to his chair. Essek almost begged him to stay by his bed, but he knew his limitations.

Essek found himself falling asleep, not unconscious.

———————————————————

The light of dawn roused Essek from his sleep, a little too uncomfortably for his liking. The early sun’s light was coming down and dancing around the room, to Essek’s extreme discomfort. 

He raised his hand, preparing to preform a spell, before spiraling pain shook his arm and he had to set it back down with a sharp gasp.

He’ll need to work on that.

Essek looked around the room. He was in the Xorhaus, which was something he did not expect. The queen could scry on him at any moment, and now that the Cerberus Assembly knew of his betrayal, he had no doubt that they might attempt to kill him again once they found that the first attempt was unsuccessful.

He gulped had closed his eyes, trying to push away the thoughts of the burning flames.

The door opened softly, and a familiar and very welcomed face appeared. Caleb came in with a light smile and sat by his bed.

Essek loved the way the light hit his blue eyes, the way his reddish hair flew in the wind. And how Caleb’s sharp features were brought out by the rising sunlight. Essek would take all of it in...

If the sun wasn’t so damn bright.

He hissed through his teeth and noticed Calebs brow furrow in concern. Essek squinted with mild annoyance, before trying to close the curtains with his spell. 

Unfortunately, much like the first time, his injuries didn’t want to cooperate.

Caleb took note of his struggle and quickly grabbed his arm, carefully avoiding the blisters that covered it. With a wave of his hand and a flash of Dunamis, the curtain closed with dramatic flourish. 

“I wouldn’t recommend magic just yet.” The red haired man said.

Essek immediately ignored this and attempted to cast Dancing Lights. Caleb couldn’t see in the dark.

The man however heard his muttering and grabbed hold of his arm again, although this time it was directly onto the burns on Essek’s forearm. He knew that Caleb didn’t do this on purpose, but a small yelp escaped him.

“ _Scheisse!_ I’m so sorry. Here, I’ll change my Transmuter’s Stone to help me see in the dark.” Some tinkering before Caleb’s eye glowed slightly. He smiled and placed the stone back into his pocket.

Essek tried to have a small smile through the pain, but he eventually gave up and spoke instead.

“Can...can you help me sit up? I’m feeling better! D-don’t worry.” He quickly added.

Caleb scrambled a bit before helping the drow. It took a while but some time later Essek was back on his feet. Well, sort of half leaning on Caleb but it was some progress.

“Emm, do you want to join us for breakfast? Caduceus made something, I don’t know, probably some sort of pancake.” The human said.

Essek shook his head slowly. “What I really want is a bath. Don’t trouble yourself, I’ll be fine alone.”

Caleb looked at him strangely. “If you aren’t down in thirty minutes I will get Beauregard to bust down the door.”

The drow choked out a laugh. “Duly noted.”

And with that Essek was left alone.

Once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone who has read this: wow, thank you so much for reading my late night ideas!
> 
> Stay safe wherever you are!


	5. Chapter Five —— Caleb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zone of Truth time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ThankyouThankyou Thank you to everyone who read this fic! I cannot believe you actually read till the end.  
>  This chapter isn’t the best because I had to finish it up really quick but I hope you enjoy anyways!

Essek came down in thirty minutes, and therefore was relieved of the Beauregard Threat.

However, he was not relieved of a very excited Jester ready to cast Zone of Truth.

Caleb was seated with the rest of the Mighty Nein. He shifted uncomfortably and attempted to fiddle with his anti scrying pendant, which was not there.

He watched Essek come down with an outfit that Caleb had left on the bed (Caleb refused to think about who’s clothes they were). Essek was the most casual that he had ever seen him.

The amber pendant was around the drow’s neck. The Nein had thought that perhaps Essek needed it more than Caleb. It was true but that didn’t mean that the human didn’t feel like he was being constantly watched.

All inkling of the Mighty Nein’s conversation died down as they noticed him.

As Essek sat down, Jester immediately piped up. 

“Can we like, interrogate you?”

Fjord slammed his head into his palm as the dark elf stammered a reply.

“I-what? I, um, have the feeling that you know everything there is to know about my...predicament. My, er, death was, I assume, proof enough that I had angered the Cerberus Assembly.”

Nobody else noticed, but Caleb saw Essek begin to scratch the burns on his arms.

“Okay so look, we are trying to stop the war and we also don’t trust you because, ya know, treason shit. And so we were thinking, “how do we know Essek is telling the truth or whatever”, and than we came up with a plan to cast Zone of Truth on you!” Jester spoke faster and faster as her voice kept getting higher pitched.

Essek was slightly taken aback, however he surprisingly agreed.

“I have nothing to hide. You might not trust me, but I have never been more loyal to a group of people more than you.”

Caleb let himself zone out as the blue Tiefling cast her spell. He doubted Essek was lying about anything he had said on that ship. He wasn’t worried about that.

He was worried about they way Essek kept scratching his arms.

It hurt Caleb to see such perfect skin burned bloody. He had his fair share of scars, but those were unimportant. _He_ was unimportant. 

But Essek meant close to everything to Caleb, to the Nein, and to the world in general. 

And they almost lost him forever.

Than Caleb remembered something,

The human stood up suddenly. “Your soul. You said you were consecuted. Why didn’t your soul return to the Beacon? Unless I’m mistaken, that process happens almost instantaneously. You were within the bounds, why were we able to pull you back?”

Essek sighed and balled his hands into fists. “Because I lied. I’m not consecuted. The general public thinks I am, of course. But the truth is my soul was never bound.”

The drow placed his hands on his forearms. 

“I cannot lie, but I would rather not answer any questions on the matter.”

The Mighty Nein sat in silence, before Caduceus tapped Jester on her shoulder. “Ten minutes is almost up.”

Jester sat up. “Oh! I have one more question.” She put her chin on top of her hands, eyebrows wiggling menacingly. “Who out of us are you in love with?”

“Caleb.”

The name tumbled freely from Essek’s mouth as the dark elf’s eyes widened in horror.  
  
The room was dead silent for a moment.

Before everything happened at once.

Jester yelled “HOLY SHIT.”.   
  
Beau muttered “of course”. 

Caduceus looked mildly confused, before realizing with a nod.

Yasha snorted.

Fjord kept swinging his head back and forth between Caleb and Essek with a look of utter surprise on his face.

Veth said “what. WHAT.” And proceeded to drink heavily from her flask.

And Caleb.

Caleb felt like he had just been hit by a cart. The chaos around him was drowned out by his thoughts. Essek was _in love_ with him? 

He caught a glimpse of the drow disappearing up the stairs. The others seemed too out of it to notice two wizards vanishing from the table.

When Caleb had caught up with Essek, he grabbed his arm and turned the elf to face him.

Essek stared at him with fear, and a little pain, as Caleb realized that he was grabbing the burns.

“Is it true? Do you actually love me?” 

Essek seemed to deflate. “Yes. I’m sorry.”

Caleb kissed him straight on the lips.

It was soft. Light, how he would have imagined moonlight to taste like. And it ended all to soon.

Essek pulled back in shock. “You-you said you didn’t trust me.”

Caleb smiles sadly. “I don’t know if I should believe anything that comes out of my mouth.”

This time, Essek pulled him in. The kiss was more passionate, filled with longing. Caleb gripped the drow’s arm.

Essek cried out, breaking the kiss, his hands covering his arms.

_The burns_ , Caleb remembers.

“I can still feel it. The fire I mean.” Essek says unexpectedly. “It’s like it’s still there, no matter how much I try not to think of it.”

“I understand. I know the feeling.” Caleb traces his own scars. “But I promise, _Liebling_ , that what ever happens, I won’t let the Assembly take you.”

“ _Libeling_?”

Caleb smiled. “It means “favorite” or “darling”. It’s a term of endearment.”

“I like it.” The drow closed his eyes.

“Let’s get to bed. I know you just woke up but I think a nap is in order.” The human said.

Essek nodded and let himself be picked up and carried.

“Will you stay by me this time?” He asked.

“ _Für immer_ ,” Caleb replied.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! The end! 
> 
> In the works I have a Shadowgast Sun and Moon AU story that I promised myself I would do actual research on. It’ll take a while to write but I am determined to make my idea become reality.
> 
> See y’all around!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this mess.


End file.
